Monday, March 2, 2009

Suffer Like G Did? House Of The Dead: OVER-MOTHERFUCKIN-KILL!!!!

MOTHERFUCKER! This is a damned MOTHERFUCKIN fun ass game! I can't tell you the last time I had this much of a MOTHERFUCKIN blast killing zombies! "What did I tell you about using the 'Z' word?" Sorry, I meant MOTHERFUCKIN mutants! "What's with all the MOTHERFUCKER this and MOTHERFUCKIN that, Stein?" Oh, thats just a bad MOTHERFUCKIN habit I picked up from Detective Washington, the new guy in the HOD series with the wallet that says "BAD MOTHER FUCKER" on it. He's also the ironic MOTHERFUCKER that calls every MOTHERFUCKER he sees a MOTHERFUCKIN MOTHERFUCKER except for the MOTHERFUCKER who actually is a MOTHERFUCKER! Then we have Agent Gwendollynn who you may remember from every other HOD game out there as Agent G. Together, G-Wash and the Zombie Sauce go chasing around Papa Ceasar, with the ever so busty (you'll see what I mean when you get there) Varla Guns, to exact vengefull justice before they realize that Papa is not the MOTHERFUCKER that they need to be putting down in this grindflick inspired B-shooter.

Now I'll tell you this right now, if you are a fan of "quality" (and by quality, I mean cheesy) 70's era grindflicks and light gun shooters, then this is the game for you. The entire presentation of the game from the intro to the loading screens to the music and scratchy ass film grain filter make this campy game stand out in the crowd of light gun shooter on the Wii. And by the crowd of light gun shooters, I mean all 6 of them... and 3, technically speaking, is a crowd. At any rate, the game gives off the low budget drive in vibe the whole way through, missing reels, plot holes and all.

Despite the "by the hour" hotel vibe HOD:O gives off, the gameplay is top notch. There are plenty of options available to you once you've made your way through the 2 main modes, including one of the options that most gun games have skimped on up till now, Dual Wield mode. That's right, you finally don't have to play as 2 characters to mow MOTHERFUCKIN zombies down with both hands. Weild 2 of the same guns, or any other combo of guns you have unlocked through out your progression. Of course, obviously, since 2 guns are supported, 2 players can enjoy the fun. It's always better when someone on the same couch can play with you.

There are a few minor hiccups that you have to overlook, like an occasional smidge of slowdown here and there when the action gets too intense, but just remember that this is the Wii we're talking about here.

So I urge you people, if you've got a Wii, you like light gun shooters, and zombies, mutants, and MOTHERFUCKERs (as well as people that would fuck their mother) don't offend you too much, then get ready to eat yourself a tasty, tossed brain salad, MOTHERFUCKER!

Oh yeah, if you don't approve of the phrase "MOTHERFUCKER", you probably shouldn't have read this article... MOTHERFUCKER!

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